Laying in bed this week, I hear Yonatan on the phone with a friend...
"We have to view our partners as a mirror, not the solution, not the thing that's going to fix us, but rather a reflection when there is work to be done."
I'm laying here trying to open my eyes and make my way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee & Yonatan is already dropping some absolutely powerful relationship truths.
As I hear him say it, it struck a chord in the pit of my stomach.
It is so incredibly easy to start to offload our work and responsibility onto our partner. We say things like:
"IF you would just..."
"When you change ____then I'll finally ____."
"IF they only...."
Certainly, our partners have room to change and grow as much as we do, but it will never be our responsibility to create that change for them. Our job is to find the change that is needed within us, even if it's just 5% and especially when it's 95% and to work on that.
As we turn the attention inward and begin to reflect on what we can be responsible for in a moment of frustration or an irritating pattern, we become accountable. It shifts the energy of our relationships. We're no longer navigating through them with an energy of expectation & we stop acting as a victim to our circumstances.
So, on this holiday week, I'll leave you with this:
What mirror are your relationships holding up to you?
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